After a very long and stressful weekend, we got ready to go back to the Jasmine suite to find out the results of my biopsies, I think we both knew before we went.... but we went along kind of pretending.
When we got to the hospital, we sat in the waiting area of the Jasmine suite and waited for my name to be called.... we seemed to be sat waiting forever... we were sat there waiting for an hour and ten minutes... and I thought that was the longest hour of my life... Finally they called my name, and gripping tightly to my husbands hand, we followed the nurse back into the little examination room.
With-in 5 minutes, the doctor walked into the room and she had another woman with her, she sat down and we knew, just by looking at her face!
She said "It's just as we feared, you have breast cancer" I'm sure she said some other things as well... but I was looking at my husbands face, and I will never forget the look on his face when she told us I had cancer..... It was like watching him take a punch.... I will never forget seeing the pain cross his features.
I know that some one fetched me a cup of coffee, and then the doctor said I had to have a biopsy on my lymph nodes, and then she left, and just left us in the room with the other woman... She introduced herself as Barbara and she was going to be my Macmillan nurse.
Barbara told us she was going to give us a couple of days for it to sink in and then come round to the house and have a proper talk to us, then she went out to reception to make an appointment for friday 13th August for an utrasound on my lymph nodes.... When she came back in with the appointment, she told us we could go.
I just held my husbands hand as he took us out to the car.... I don't even remember getting home that day, but I do remember telling my 14 year old daughter that I had cancer.... she just looked at us for about 10 seconds and then turned to her dad and started to cry.... I think that hurt me most that day, seeing how much this horrible disease had hurt my daughter.
She might be 14, but she's my baby.
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